Thursday, February 15, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
emptiness
feel so empty abt myself...i used to be so confident to myself...but now...i wonder wats wrong wif me? wats wrong to my hair? wats wrong to my body? everything seems so wrong...
ever since the day i cut my hair short...i never been satisfy to my hair...it just cant style as per i want...why? i dont use to regret abt things that i have done...but this time yes...a big god damn regret for cutting my hair till shoulder length...now all damaged and spoiled...cant even keep it long as when i feel not satisfy, i'll go cut it shorter and shorter...i feel like my look is like aunty...why is it so? should i go check out on hair extension? would it be expensive? argh...
not only that...i'm putting on a lot of weights recently...cant even buy my favourite levis jean for CNY just because when i was in fitting room facing the mirror with my beloved 593 levis super low waist jeans on...the 1st statement in my head..."wtf, who is this ugly little fatty boom boom?" how am i going to lose all these fats? i really wish i could find a satisfy solution for both my hair and weight...
i really cant take myself anymore...i sleep more than i used to sleep...but still feel sleepy everyday and even sleep in the ofis everyday...is it because am getting older and older? i cant even concentrate in my jobs cause i got a lot to think, a lots that bothering me till i cant even breath...why is it so? since when things become sucks for me? since when i become so care abt all these? i used to take it as it is...
i wonder...what happened to me?
ever since the day i cut my hair short...i never been satisfy to my hair...it just cant style as per i want...why? i dont use to regret abt things that i have done...but this time yes...a big god damn regret for cutting my hair till shoulder length...now all damaged and spoiled...cant even keep it long as when i feel not satisfy, i'll go cut it shorter and shorter...i feel like my look is like aunty...why is it so? should i go check out on hair extension? would it be expensive? argh...
not only that...i'm putting on a lot of weights recently...cant even buy my favourite levis jean for CNY just because when i was in fitting room facing the mirror with my beloved 593 levis super low waist jeans on...the 1st statement in my head..."wtf, who is this ugly little fatty boom boom?" how am i going to lose all these fats? i really wish i could find a satisfy solution for both my hair and weight...
i really cant take myself anymore...i sleep more than i used to sleep...but still feel sleepy everyday and even sleep in the ofis everyday...is it because am getting older and older? i cant even concentrate in my jobs cause i got a lot to think, a lots that bothering me till i cant even breath...why is it so? since when things become sucks for me? since when i become so care abt all these? i used to take it as it is...
i wonder...what happened to me?
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