Sunday, April 15, 2007

rAinBoWs oF mInD

updates updates...great news on pay nee's little space of mind...

20070407-20070408

went back to perak for "qing ming"..."qing ming" is for chinese to remember their ancestors
by cleaning up the graveyards and carry out some sort of praying...this is considered as one of the celebration as this culture is to be passed on from one generation to another...this year, i did something extraordinary, i had taken some photos...


~~~~~great grandma, grandma and grandpa~~~~~

cant you see there is something special on this photo? (i can see a dragon, how about you?)


nah...how about this? (one of the cow is trying to show off by doing something private in public, hehe...)


another special one is this, my aunty's backyard...you wont be able to link all these photos together as you wont be able to imagine how could this little backyard have all types of awesome hidden flowers...(my aunty herself surprised as well when i show all these photos to her...enjoy...)



20070411

this was my last workday in lenovo...i have prepared some handmade gifts for my lovely colleagues, however i forgot to invite them as models for my camera...unable to show off...hehe...i really felt reluctant to leave all my colleagues...i never would have expect that they did so much for me on that day...received a lot of my favourite piggies and a nice anklet...had a fabulous coffee session at 1u...had scrumptious lunch at asean foodhouse as well as tgi friday 1u...had a enjoyable tea time session at rn...had a piggies artboard at my workstation (thanks to bone bone fish)...and last but not least...had a wonderful photo session...i must have done something right to deserve all these...billion thanks to you guys...







i missed out one important thing, i received one special certificate...content as below:

This is to certified that Miss Ng Pay Nee has completed the hell training in prison company Lenovo on April, 11th 2007.

You may leave...the heaven's door is open for you


All the best to you and your future

miss you a lotz


the certificate was created using piggies...they even organized a ceremony for me to receive that...creative isnt it?

20070414

now this was my luckiest day in funfair...my 1st and ever funfair time with my dear...i been to funfair for countless time, however, this was the 1st time i been there with my dear boyfriend...i have won a medium-size cute piggy with only 10 bucks...am goddamn lucky...hehe...


cute...isnt it?

Thursday, April 05, 2007

[ empty ] + [ empty ] = ???

would i be able to clear a little space in the corner of my mind to be my own writer and create my own storyboard with fancy little stories full with sole happiness, with no burdens, no worries to represent the greatest metaphor of my life? one min ago, i go through a blog, about greatest story ever...there will never be one same greatest story in our lifes, different perceptions planted in our minds, or should we arrange in sentence like this "the greatest story ever does not exist"...once, really believe in bedtime stories... "the prince and the princess live happily forever and ever"... wow...forever and ever...impressive even i knew it is fake though...noticed that i have granted the permission for the environment to influence me...always thought that adaptable would be the best word for myself, guess not anymore when i can feel the dependency crawling out from deep down inside my soul, trying to put all the blames on others, not being considerate, curse all the time, mumbling on all the small matters, where is the optimistic me? pls let go of me, pessimistic...i want the old me back...seems like i demand more and more every now and then...but guess am not that dedicated...i have lost my faith in me...i have lost my hope...my rainbow has become hologram...where is my 7 colors...my direction is so complicated now, there is no turning of right, left, up and down...where should i place myself...is someone out there to guide me through all these horrible illusions...***SALVATION***

Monday, April 02, 2007

about love

if everything can be that rational and always another solution to choose...life would be easier...this is one of the song frm MCR that i like the most...go through the lyrics then you'll know why...

When you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you Like I did Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you Like I did Yesterday"
Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you Like I loved you Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you Yesterday
I don't love you
Like I loved you Yesterday

Thursday, March 29, 2007

missing nen nen du

last friday was cherie's last day in Lenovo...which means my gang of colleague buddies going to change from 7 to 6...getting lesser and lesser...1st shu hwan...then joyce...now nen nen du...same day, my another team member, aina also leaving...this is the most busy day for me...busy walk around being camera girl (wat to do, since i'm so pro...) busy making little card for nen nen du...busy here busy there...conclusion, busybutty... :D

i'm a little tired in writing long long essay in my blog, getting lazy now and then...actually lots of thing happened to me recently, guess tis blog is not up-to-date as well...those ups and downs seems so far away from me...anyway, separation isn't as bad as i thought...sometimes feelings just nice to remain where it is, dont have to spill out...i'm gonna miss office life over here as i'm gonna be the next to leave...

lunch hour for this happy family...their relationship is very complicated ya know...is like this...

ah yee (having affairs) <---> papa <---> mama (husband and wife) <---> da jie, er jie and mei mei (daughters) ---> lu ren jia (dunno why she always passby our hse during our meals, always eat together)

guess who is er jie?? (^@^)

guess who is aina that going to leave us?

our special little card with greatest regards to nen nen du

this was taken before nen nen du arrive...sure she very geram ooooo

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

WHAT IF...SHOULD I ?

what if obstacles appear on the middle of the smooth runway...
what if feelings of being left out filled up your soul...
what if all the efforts being declined...
what if strength to change is not on our sides...
what if have to accept masking in order to advance...
what if...

should i accept the truth and overcome it no matter how tough it is?
should i feel satisfy with what i have, forget about my soul hanging in the sky?
should i give up or keep on trying like what edison did?
should i gang up so that i can obtain the power?
should i get myself ready with masks in order to adapt with the change of environment and personalities?
should i ?


Thursday, February 08, 2007

emptiness

feel so empty abt myself...i used to be so confident to myself...but now...i wonder wats wrong wif me? wats wrong to my hair? wats wrong to my body? everything seems so wrong...

ever since the day i cut my hair short...i never been satisfy to my hair...it just cant style as per i want...why? i dont use to regret abt things that i have done...but this time yes...a big god damn regret for cutting my hair till shoulder length...now all damaged and spoiled...cant even keep it long as when i feel not satisfy, i'll go cut it shorter and shorter...i feel like my look is like aunty...why is it so? should i go check out on hair extension? would it be expensive? argh...

not only that...i'm putting on a lot of weights recently...cant even buy my favourite levis jean for CNY just because when i was in fitting room facing the mirror with my beloved 593 levis super low waist jeans on...the 1st statement in my head..."wtf, who is this ugly little fatty boom boom?" how am i going to lose all these fats? i really wish i could find a satisfy solution for both my hair and weight...

i really cant take myself anymore...i sleep more than i used to sleep...but still feel sleepy everyday and even sleep in the ofis everyday...is it because am getting older and older? i cant even concentrate in my jobs cause i got a lot to think, a lots that bothering me till i cant even breath...why is it so? since when things become sucks for me? since when i become so care abt all these? i used to take it as it is...

i wonder...what happened to me?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Art of photography

Art~~~
full of mysteries
world of imaginary
dare to express
dare to explore
join the illusionary world...



Friday, January 05, 2007

~~~~~little updates~~~~~

hiho~~~its really been a long time that i didnt tap on the keyboard for my little blog...now its time to update my life...but actually i felt my life sucks as am addicted to online game...where i could spend all my free times for leveling...haha...better dont talk about that...i guess all of you have a great xmas and new year celebration...for me, "simple" the best as just gather around with few friends, do some drinkings and bluffings, walkings and viewings, eatings and sleepings...hehe...dont misunderstand...just rented a hotel room nearby the beach to do all these...




i had my fireworks besides me...its so near...and so loud...cant even take a good shot for that beautiful fireworks...


also watched my favourite movie...confession of pain & night at the museum...planning to watch sinking of japan soon...night at the museum is a meaningful movie as well as full of humor...highly recommended...

Friday, December 01, 2006

***cute one***

cant imagine that i'm actually doing this during my working hours...hahaha...my fren sent me a folder of these cute cute jpeg long time ago...i cant resist and must show u all that the combination of different expressions works fine...great visual effects...hahaha...


dont u agree?

幸せ誕生日

last saturday was sweetomato's 24th birthday...it was a bbq birthday party for her...not really surprise her much...hopefully she really enjoy that party...


check this out for more details:

http://sweetomato.blogspot.com/2006/12/my-24th-birthday.html

Sunday, November 12, 2006

service excellence programme 081106-101106

juz completed my 3 days trainings in service excellence programme with another 14 colleagues...the 1st impression before i join tat programme was tat am gonna bored to the maximum 'n' no ways to escape by sitting there for 3 days lecturing...who knows it was the other way round...i have never been so enjoy since i have joined this company...i never would have expected tat i'll gain so much frm this training...

i get to know my colleagues 'n' myself better...this programme also inspired me to change the way i treat my so called enemy in the ofis...i understand one thing...dont treat others like how you want it to be, treat them in the way they want it to be...positive thinkings will make our lifes happier...i might not be able to change in one day time, but i must have a strong mindset so that i'll be succeed in changing myself...




in this training, we really did a lot of things that amazed ourselves...we actually design poster, compose a song, dance, acting and share all of our opinions openly...two most impressive sessions for me are the "angel & mortal" game 'n' the final one - encouraging heart session...

how the game goes? there are 15 of us, each of us will need to write our names in a piece of paper...take turns to draw...must keep a secret abt the name as that person will be your mortal...as an angel, you need to take care of your mortal secretly...like giving out some small gifts, find a dispatch to deliver drinks or watever that shows your concern...you know how it feels? its like contributing without expecting any returns bcoz my angel might be in coma...from this little game, i understand one thing, even though i might not have anything frm my angel, but i really enjoyed preparing those little gifts for my little mortal, especially when i heard her compliments...its warm 'n' touching...thus, i think if the same concept apply to my working environment, contributing without expecting anything, i'll feel happier...

the final session...we need to tell the other party how we appreciate them...like they meant something in our lifes...need to express all these openly...one thing is that we must not laugh...we need to be very serious...sincerely frm the bottom of our hearts...and when one finished their appreciations, the other one must say thanks or hug them or do something that showed your appreciations...you know what, i knew each of them...but not all of us are close...as i dont have to deal with all of them while working...but what really amazed me during this session was...actually there are a lot of ppl out there who care abt me...when i heard frm them, i never would have expect those appreciations frm them...but thats the truth...

there is one junior in my working team...she was my "neighbour" previously...recently she was transferred to another dept 'n' we are no longer "neighbour" now...tat day during the sharing session, by the time we turn to each other 'n' ready to share...she actually ran to me 'n' hug me tight 'n' cried it out loud...i really shocked 'n' i actually cried together wif her as i can feel tat she really appreciate me...she was the first one tat started to cry...later on, we are like let go all of our feelings...most of the girls cried while expressing themselves...

the final ceremony for these three days after that one to one expressing session was the group one...we made a big circle...and the trainer actually let us listen to one song...she want us to close our eyes 'n' listen to that song carefully...think abt two questions at the same time..."who you want to dedicate this song to 'n' who might want to dedicate this song to you"...i knew this song but i really unable to recall the song title...but tat song was abt someone to cheers you up, someone that brighten your days, someone that always be there for you, support you...but that someone is no longer in this world...

i actually cried while listening to that song...i thought abt my uncle who passed away more than 13 years...but he is really close with me...but what made me feel real sad is that i dont even have 1 of his pictures...'n' i cant even remember his face as i was too young that time...when the music stopped, she want us to express "how we feel when someone appreciate us 'n' what we feel like want to grab back after these 3 days training"...

i volunteered to start first...i said "i felt really touched when i know there is someone so appreciate me...make me feel like am not alone out there...there are a lot of ppl who actually care abt me..." then i started to cry...it took me few minutes to calm myself down... "i really want to spend more times wif my family 'n' frenz...wif all my loved ones...i wanna show my appreciations to all of them...i really dont wanna be regret...dun wanna do it when they are not around as i was actually thinking abt my uncle that passed away when the music was on..."

no one there will laugh at you...everyone actually being a good listener there...everything that shared in that room...remained there...i felt so safe...but no one will understand what we have experienced...that three precious days will always remained in my heart...will import all the good qualities that i learned from that programme in my life...like my group name's, always positive - CHEERFUL~~~

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

lItTlE rOuNd rOuNd sEcReT

sometimes we tend to search for that long lost taste...to anticipate your taste buds...tats just a small little surprise tat i wan in my boring working life...found you finally...


~~~dunkin donuts~~~



delicious - scrumptious - whet my appetite - go for more...


after that little round round secret...grab another bowl of instant noodle that i want to eat desperately...wah~~really dunno how to put my satisfactions in words...super yummy...