[ empty ] + [ empty ] = ???

would i be able to clear a little space in the corner of my mind to be my own writer and create my own storyboard with fancy little stories full with sole happiness, with no burdens, no worries to represent the greatest metaphor of my life? one min ago, i go through a blog, about greatest story ever...there will never be one same greatest story in our lifes, different perceptions planted in our minds, or should we arrange in sentence like this "the greatest story ever does not exist"...once, really believe in bedtime stories... "the prince and the princess live happily forever and ever"... wow...forever and ever...impressive even i knew it is fake though...noticed that i have granted the permission for the environment to influence me...always thought that adaptable would be the best word for myself, guess not anymore when i can feel the dependency crawling out from deep down inside my soul, trying to put all the blames on others, not being considerate, curse all the time, mumbling on all the small matters, where is the optimistic me? pls let go of me, pessimistic...i want the old me back...seems like i demand more and more every now and then...but guess am not that dedicated...i have lost my faith in me...i have lost my hope...my rainbow has become hologram...where is my 7 colors...my direction is so complicated now, there is no turning of right, left, up and down...where should i place myself...is someone out there to guide me through all these horrible illusions...***SALVATION***